I started as a freelance writer when Paleolithic was an era not a diet, and I struggled with the query letter. For a magazine writer—any writer really—that’s bad news because the query is how you sell your piece.

So, I did the thing you do when you want to improve, I practiced. A lot. I asked questions, read books, studied the form, and wrote scores of queries. Eventually, I broke the code, and I started selling just about everything I queried.

If I can do it, so can you. 

But, we make it too hard. We embellish and joke and try to look cute so we can be with the cool kid’s publishing group. But that’s not professional and that’s not what editors or agents are looking for.

The query, or pitch, is a business letter, and if you learn how to write a good one, it will open doors for your writing career.

Queries for Fiction

When querying literary agents, it’s all about the hook. Your query letter should give a sense of the person behind the story while clearly defining the genre and tone of your work.

The letter should answer these questions:

1. Who’s your protagonist? (Give the agent a character to care about)
2. What problem do they face? (Introduce the stakes and tension)
3. What choices must they make? (What keeps readers turning the page?)

And make it lively; let your voice and tone show through.

For example, compare these two ideas:

1. Jay quits his job to write a novel. He wants a new life. But, when he finally makes it big in the industry, things take a turn for the worse, and Jay’s fame is threatened by rumors from a mysterious source. With his book ready to release, Jay stops at nothing to end the rumors before it’s too late.

Instead, let’s try this: 

2. Jay quits his job in cyber security after misconduct allegations and decides to write a novel under a pseudonym based on his experience. With a new life and new identity, Jay is ready to put his past far behind him. But when the salacious details of Jay’s previous work history boosts his book into literary stardom, Jay begins receiving emails from an anonymous source threatening to expose his secrets and the real-life part he played in his own novel. Only weeks before Jay’s new book is launched, he is willing to do whatever is necessary to stop the mysterious person threatening to ruin his new life—even if it means using the same cyber security skills that got him into trouble in the first place.

What’s different here? 

Story 2 is more specific and builds character. We won’t learn a ton about Jay in a pitch, but in the second example we do learn his career in cyber security was bad enough for him to quit and want a new life for himself.

We also get a hint of the problem Jay faces when an anonymous emailer threatens to expose his new identity. Secrets can build suspense.

That leaves Jay with a choice, and he chooses to fight for what’s his, even if it means sacrificing his own character.

And that makes for an interesting story that will leave agents and editors wanting to know more.

In your pitch letter, be sure to drop comparative, or comp, titles in, if you have a couple in mind. This gives agents an idea of where your book might be positioned in the market.

Pro tip: Personalize your letter to each agent, and always check submission guidelines to see whether they request just a query letter or also a synopsis and sample chapters. Double-check the agent’s name and spell it and the he agency name correctly.

The query should also include a single line about why you are approaching that particular agent, for example: “I saw that you represented Jo Schmo; my novel deals with similar themes, so I thought I’d reach out.”

And be sure to include a line about who you are and any writing awards or publishing credits you may have.

The Nonfiction Query: Lead with Impact

For nonfiction, your query should feel like the start of a great article or essay. Lead with a strong hook that gives a glimpse into the heart of the story. Focus on the character or problem at hand, like this:

When a car accident left Maria Johnson with a broken back, doctors told her she’d be confined to a life of chronic pain. They were right—until Maria discovered aerial yoga. Now, agile and pain-free, she helps others reclaim their bodies and their lives.

Once you’ve hooked the editor, lay out the scope of your piece:

1. Timeliness: Why this story now?
2. Expert insight: Which experts or data will you include to support your narrative?
3. Your connection: Why are you the perfect person to write this? Maybe you’ve experienced a similar journey or are particularly knowledgeable about the subject.

End your query with a short bio, highlighting any relevant experience or publications.

The Nuts and Bolts

In both types of queries, keep your formatting professional: single-spaced, 1-inch margins, and a clean, readable font like Arial or Times New Roman. Include the title of your work, word count, and genre.

Remember: Every word counts. Agents and editors read countless queries, so don’t bury them in unnecessary details. Stick to the essentials and focus on what makes your story unique.

Finally, a note on comps: If you’re unsure about your genre, compare your work to recent titles in the market. It shows you know where your book fits and gives agents a frame of reference.

Good luck, and happy pitching.

Was it right, my inner voice? Well, no. It rarely is, but that doesn’t stop us from listening and getting anxious. But this time, instead of letting them run amok, I studied those thoughts and picked better ones.

Pick the Balanced Thought Over the Unhelpful One

Psychologists call these kinds of all-or-nothing—if you don’t do this, you’ll never be good enough—thoughts cognitive distortions. They aren’t based on any evidence, and usually, they are not even true— but we sure do get caught up in them, and when we do, we become stressed-out, stuck, and unproductive.

But, it’s not like we can stop thinking about them, says psychologist Dr. Mary Anderson, author of the newly released book The Happy High Achiever: 8 Essentials To Overcome Anxiety, Manage Stress, And Energize Yourself For Success—Without Losing Your Edge. Anderson was a guest on the Simply Said podcast, and she says that our minds fill with thoughts, but we can choose which ones to focus on.

We cannot stop thinking, and the more we try to avoid thoughts that bring us down and make us worried, the more active and louder they become. But what if we made an active choice to notice them and then choose a more balanced thought instead?

Not everything has to be positive all the time. Sometimes we have negative feelings and bad things happen, but within those moments, if we can interrogate the thought, we can use it, instead of letting it use us.

Here’s how to do it:

Notice what you are thinking. What are you telling yourself? How is that making you feel? Which thoughts are causing anxiety? Awareness is the first step.

Poke holes in it. Ask yourself, “Is this thought even accurate?” Challenge it. Look for evidence that shows first that this thought is true, and then think of all the ways in which it is not. Often, we feel anxious because we believe everything we think. Often, our thoughts are not based on fact.

Focus on what matters. We can’t stop thinking, but you can shift your focus from thoughts that hold you back to those that empower you to move forward.

Create a balanced thought. Pick something better and more realistic. For example, instead of thinking, “If I don’t work long days and nights, I won’t be good at the job,” try, “If I organize my priorities and take care of myself at night, I will be more productive and better at work during the day.”

Look for evidence. Find proof to back up your new thought to make it more believable. For example, are there people who get their work done in 40 hours a week or less? Of course. Most weeks, I’m one of them.

Acknowledge reality, but add hope. I love this tip from Dr. A. Things are not perfect, of course, but within the imperfection and challenging days, there is always a “twist of hope.”

Hold onto that, and we can move forward.

Keep at it. You’ve got this.

*This post originally appeared in the Simply Said column at https://pollycampbell.substack.com. Join our free community for more.

Spring Cleaning for Your Mind

Originally Published by Polly Campbell on Psychology Today, April 22, 2022/Reviewed by Davia Sills

Key Points

• Identifying what’s behind your negative feelings can help reveal limiting beliefs.
• Research shows that our beliefs, thoughts, and expectations can change our perceptions and behavior.
• Reframing the beliefs that cause distress can help you reinterpret your world.

It snowed in the Oregon Valley three days after I cleaned my golf clubs.

Never can tell what will happen. Though it’s too wet to hit the links, it’s a good time for some spring cleaning.

I’m not ready to clean the cupboards. Too wet to wash the windows.

No, the clutter I need to get rid of first is all in my mind.

Years ago, I did a cleanse. Limited the types of foods I ate for 10 days to release the toxins from my body. And it’s routine to clean out the closets, ridding ourselves of worn clothes that no longer fit—college sweatshirt, I’m looking at you.

But how often do we really examine our thoughts and get rid of the mental clutter that keeps us stuck, the ideas that no longer serve us?

I’m doing that this spring. A little metal detox. Spring cleaning for the mind to encourage more creativity, confidence, and calm. Cleaning out the mental clutter and dropping the beliefs that get in our way also helps us get clear about where we are and what we can do next.

Building better beliefs to support healthy behaviors.

This is all a big deal. Why? Because every feeling, every behavior starts from a thought or a belief. Often we are not even conscious of them, but they shape our lives by igniting intense emotion that contributes to our decisions, behaviors, and the ways we think of ourselves.

We are prone (thank you, evolution) to a negative bias anyhow, more likely to see the bad, the threat, the problem, at least at first—in ourselves, in our circumstances. We can get stuck in that harmful pattern and begin behaving badly in response to those thoughts.

We read about the devastating war in Ukraine, and because long ago, we attached to the belief that we are small and powerless, we don’t believe we can help, so we don’t.

But that festers. We may wind up snapping at those we love, falling into depression, and behaving in ways that make everything worse. Of course, we are not powerless. Ever. And not in a war where the people are being aided through memes and e-commerce sales of merchandise.

Here’s how a negative thought pattern impacted me just a few months ago. I was three weeks post-surgery and still using a cane. That triggered a barrage of bad thoughts. After all, here I am, working hard to recover, spending hours in physical therapy, and I still can’t walk without a cane. I’m not improving. Not getting stronger.

And, naturally, those thoughts, which were not even true, left me feeling down and frustrated. Tired. I didn’t feel like exercising, so I didn’t. And—you can see where this is going—that slowed my recovery and led to greater pain, the very conditions I was worried about to begin with.

It’s time to clear up the mental clutter.

Here’s how you can do it too.

1. Evaluate how you are feeling. What’s working? What feels sad or frustrating or frightening? Take note of your emotions and how they play out.

2. Feel good. Give thanks for those good things. Not everything you believe is bad.

3. Take a look at the frustrations or more negative feelings. What beliefs are behind them? Often, we buy into thoughts that we adopted long before from a teacher or parent, and they aren’t even true. Follow the negative feelings to uncover those bad beliefs.

4. How do you respond to those thoughts? What happens when you think those things? Do they fill you up with good feelings and energy? Are they motivating? Do they push you toward self-acceptance and compassion or toward self-loathing, anger, frustration, and judgment? No wrong answer here. We all have pressure points that direct us in both negative and positive directions. Just good to know which way you are headed, so you can change the ones you want.

5. Reframe the thoughts that are bringing you down. Me sulking about how I wasn’t recovering fast enough did not, in fact, help me recover any faster. When I recognized the cane was an aid to help me build strength, not a permanent fixture (as it seemed last year), I began moving more, which actually helped me feel stronger and more optimistic (there’s that mind-body connection again) and that led to physical improvement.

This isn’t about glossing over the difficulty. It’s about noticing that other options and possibilities that also persist. Reframing my situation—looking at the same things in a new way—did not make it easier to use the cane. It did not make me more patient. But it did help me to also recognize the progress and appreciate the improvements I was seeing, and that increased my motivation and good feelings.

When we feel better, we do better.

Research has shown that our beliefs, thoughts, and expectations influence how we perceive the world and, therefore, how we behave in it. In this way, our thoughts can create tangible experiences. If you eat a slice of cake for lunch, and you believe that it ruined your diet, and you expect to gain weight, you are more likely to beat yourself up and throw the diet out the window for the day. That can lead to weight gain.

In other words, if you believe you are a weak person for eating a piece of cake, you are less likely to do the things that will support your overall nutrition and health.

But if you believe that one piece of cake was fun and delicious and won’t ruin your diet or health, you are more likely to choose healthier food at dinner, maybe even exercise, and you certainly will feel a whole lot less stressed.

We get to choose what we think, what we believe. So, this spring, let’s clean out the mental clutter that limits us, the ideas that keep us stuck or leave us feeling bad and reframe them into the beliefs that support our growth and joy, and possibility.

I feel groggy in the early mornings, but by 10 a.m. my mind is buzzing with creative energy, my body feels strong and ready for a workout. I feel like I’m just waking up around then and I’m raring to go. Up until around 2 p.m.-ish.

Understanding Our Chronotypes

Some would say I have an intermediate chronotype. A chronotype is a way of describing or labeling the circadian rhythms that affect our internal clocks and influence the body’s response to daylight and darkness. Natural light halts the body’s production of melatonin, helping us to awaken. Melatonin, which is released during darkness causes drowsiness, helping us to sleep.

Most of us are really a blend of chronotypes, but understanding our rhythms can help us identify our waking and sleeping patterns, but also the times we are most productive during the day.

And that might affect our happiness and well-being.

Research shows that rising early can boost mood, lead to greater life satisfaction, and minimize mental health problems. There is also a link between greater well-being in older people who get up early.

So how would you label your patterns? Are you an early bird? Someone who wakes up early, often without an alarm, ready to roll? Most productive in the a.m. hours? My husband is.

Or a night owl? A person like my teen daughter, who could sleep until noon and stay awake and busy into morning hours?

I’ve been all of those chronotypes at one time or another. As we become older, and our physiology, families, and responsibilities change, it’s common for our sleep habits to change too.

I feel my absolute best when I’m asleep by 11 p.m. and up by 7 a.m. I feel most focused and productive between 9 a.m. and noon, often doing my best writing during those hours. In the fall, when I need to drive my daughter to school, my schedule will shift to an earlier-morning alarm.

But, when our schedules change, can we tweak our chronotype and reap the same benefits as the early birds?

It might depend on how well you sleep and how you feel about what you are doing in your life, to begin with, say researchers. If you are rested and excited about what you’ve got going on, it’s easier to pop out of bed and sleep better at night.

I have not been getting restorative sleep, so it’s no surprise that I’m having a hard time dragging myself out of bed in the morning.

Guess the question then is how can we get a better sleep when we do finally go to bed?

Tips for Better Sleep

Experts suggest turning off your digital devices a few hours before bedtime. As I started shifting my schedule to get up earlier in the morning, I’ve begun going to sleep earlier too.

I also have a couple of practices that get me fired up for the day ahead, so that I have something to look forward to when I do wake up.

One is called Tomorrow Optimism. Before I close my eyes at night, I give some thought to one thing I’m looking forward to the following day. I spend time imagining it.

And, my morning ritual helps me get out of bed and get focused and excited for the day. That ritual includes quiet time enjoying a good, strong cup of coffee, and a short meditation. I write Morning Pages and then take a few minutes to read something that piques my curiosity or inspires me. This all takes less than an hour.

Sometimes I even go outside in those early morning hours or sit in a sunny window and soak up the natural light.

Will all of this help me change my chronotype by fall? Who knows? But I do know if I get quality sleep and do things during my times of peak productivity each day that feel meaningful and satisfying, I’m bound to feel better anyhow.

This article originally appeared in Psychology Today.

Kim Forrester, Host of the Eudaemonia  Podcast

Spoiler Alert. What does it feel like to live with vitality? It feels awesome.

And I’ll share some ways you can ease the fatigue and stress and ramp up your own energy. And let me say this, if I can do it? Anyone can.

There were tears. She took some time to vent to me. A few minutes to complain. Then I saw something interesting. She calmed herself. Made a joke. Expressed gratitude that she didn’t have bigger problems. Then made a plan to talk to her teacher and improve her skills.

This was a change from the kid I was watching deal with disappointment a year ago. That one was reluctant to take responsibility. The one who smoldered in anger. Blamed others.

We expect our kids to learn and grow. Hope for it. But, many of us will also grow through adversity, and even thrive after trauma. It’s happened in this last year repeatedly, as we’ve searched for ways to get our bearings, to ground ourselves when everything around us is changing by the day. Psychologists call it post-traumatic growth.

This kind of growth doesn’t mean we get through challenges unscathed. It’s been a scary and painful time, for everyone, in one way or another. We will be living with the effects of a pandemic for years. Trauma, defined as an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, attack, natural disaster, or other life-altering happenings, is painful and can be debilitating.

Immediately, we have may experience disbelief, shock, even denial. As time moves on, people who have experienced trauma may have headaches and other physical symptoms, emotional ups and downs, flashbacks, and even relationship problems.

Trauma does leave its mark. But the marks may not be all bad. There can also be growth.

The Good in the Bad

In one study, researchers surveyed nearly 385 people who experienced financial adversity during the pandemic lockdowns, even while working full-time. These people are also the parents or primary caregivers to young children who were being homeschooled. And those surveyed had either been sick with COVID-19 or had a loved one with the disease. Despite all of this adversity, 88% of the people surveyed say they also experienced some positive outcomes.

Many who were surveyed said they now have stronger family relationships and a greater appreciation for life. Some said they experienced spiritual growth and 11% reported that they “embraced” or discovered new opportunities.

Hardship challenges us to adapt, respond, and find other ways to cope. When we do, we become not only capable of healing the trauma associated with it but also thriving again. We build resilience, confidence, and experience that will help us the next time we face adversity—because there will be the next time.

The traumas in our lives can be devastating. And, they can teach us what we are capable of. That is always so much bigger and more powerful than what we know when we are in the middle of the pain.

It emerges later when we stand up and examine what we’ve done. How we’ve survived. What we’ve experienced and been through. And when we recognize our growth, we can be deliberate going forward to preserve what we have learned.

This leaves room for new perspectives, humor, creativity. For authenticity and even calm. Because now we know that even when things are hard, we can get through it.