Yesterday, Sweet P’s teacher showed up late to the class wearing a jog bra and eating a sandwich.
On camera, you could see the teacher chewing, staring into the computer, beige décor, a coffee table in the background.
My daughter was lying in her bed, logged in for a class the lasted 12 minutes. I watched with her, sitting on the end of the twin, before the teacher told the kids to “just get caught up,” and logged off.
I told Sweet P to get up then, do her other homework, and get ready for the next.
“Why should I care, when my teacher doesn’t?” asked my girl.
This is what I’ve said, though it wasn’t’ smooth or polished. This is why you should care.
Because it isn’t up to others to determine the course of your life. It isn’t their responsibility to motivate us or move us. It’s nice if they do it. It’s handy if they challenge us and love us and coach us. Great if they show up at their best.
But, what we learn, how we live, what we create and experience in our lives is our business.
Listen, I get that the world isn’t all rainbows and unicorns right now. Teachers need to show up even when it’s hard, and so do doctors and mail carriers and truck drivers and Moms. This is not an easy moment for any of us. So, what. Really. Me wishing for something different doesn’t make it so. I’ve moved beyond that.
This is the moment we have. We will get through it. But how we emerge, is up to the energy we bring to our lives. This isn’t anybody else’s responsibility.
It would be cool if it was all fair, we all got the vaccine on time, had amazing teachers, and plenty of money and opportunity and food.
But, what you have is this moment. It’s up to you what you do with it.
So, my darling daughter, you should care, because you are the keeper of your life experience.
What you do now, becomes who you are later and that is worthwhile. There isn’t a special space in life when everything becomes easy, but there is so much that is interesting and possible and meaningful.
Your success, and health, and happiness, is not up to anyone else. That is the good news. You get to make your life. If you are loved and encouraged and treated fairly and respectfully; if you are healthy and strong; if you are safe you have so much to be grateful for.
But, in Life School you learn, it isn’t always that way. It mostly isn’t that way. And, here’s the thing to know, in those moments you have so much to be grateful for, too.
And when nobody else seems to care, or notice, or work hard or look out for others, here is what you do—you get up anyhow. You work hard. You care for yourself and others. You notice. You learn. Because you value you. Because this is the gift. Right now. This life.
You do the things that matter anyhow. Because it’s who you are and who you will become. And that is up to you. Lifeschool.